


Rebirth

by ChetRoi



Series: Restarts. [2]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gratuitous Video Game References, Hurt and comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChetRoi/pseuds/ChetRoi
Summary: Itaru Chigasaki never really stood out. He didn’t have friends. He couldn’t play sports. He blended into the background. He was tired of it.ORThe story of Itaru’s ascent from a background character to an Isekai protagonist.
Relationships: Chigasaki Itaru/Tonooka Takumi (past), Chigasaki Itaru/Utsuki Chikage
Series: Restarts. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873087
Comments: 34
Kudos: 131
Collections: ChikaIta Week 2020





	Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys... I meant to post this on day 2 of ChikaIta week but I decided to push it back to last day... I loved [Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25042045) a lot so... sequel... bless Electra for being my beta... they’re so funny and she helped fix my meh grammar

#####  **[Start Game?]**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

It had always been Itaru’s dream to be an Isekai protagonist. 

Even when Itaru was younger, when Isekai wasn’t even an established genre yet, he’d voraciously lap up anything, from books to games to anime, that had someone starting over their life in a new world.

He wanted to start over his life.

Friendless, awkward, shy, young Itaru would’ve been unrecognizable compared to his current self. With his ill-fitting glasses and his unkempt hair, it was like Itaru 1.0. Well, it was more like Itaru .01, but Itaru had to at least pretend like he liked some part of himself. 

Everytime Itaru looked into a mirror, it shattered. Everytime he tried to talk to someone, his voice only gave strangled noises in response. Everytime he wanted to make a friend, the world turned its back on him.

So, Itaru could only do one thing to cope: Live vicariously through fictional characters. Whether they were knights from foreign lands or a normal high schooler that just so happened to have the affection of 8 different angels, Itaru placed himself in their shoes. 

After all, anybody was better than him.

Itaru’s sister didn’t believe that, or rather she didn’t want to believe that.

“You have a nice face. Use it.”

“Wow, thanks. Very specific.” 

Rolling her eyes, Itaru’s sister dragged him to her room. The day after that was when Itaru’s Isekai life began.

It was a wonder what make up, new clothes, new hair, and contacts could do. 

“Itaru-san, you look nice!”

“Wow, you totally changed! Looking good, bro.”

“Itaru-san, want to hang out with us later? We’ll save you a spot at our table!”

Itaru blinked hard at all the attention he was getting. What was so different about him now? He was still the same old nerdy Chigasaki that was obsessed with Kniroun. Why were people suddenly paying attention to him?

“Chigasaki, I don’t know how it happened, but you actually look nice now. Congrats.”

Ah. There’s Itaru’s answer. 

Itaru couldn’t help but feel disheartened. His whole life just changed because of his looks. Were looks really that important? Didn’t people always say that it’s about what’s inside that counts?

However, as Itaru went through his school year, he realized that what’s inside didn’t count at all. All that Itaru would ever be was based on his looks. He had nothing else that people liked anyways.

Well, so be it. Itaru supposed that his dream of becoming an Isekai protagonist came true. He could start his life over as this new pretty Itaru. He could finally get the attention that he craved when he was younger. Life could finally begin for him.

Itaru ignored the aching in his heart. It didn’t matter that people didn’t like him for who he was. All that mattered was that people liked him now.

Itaru Chigasaki was reborn into another world. A world that actually liked him.

Itaru would never go back.

#####  **Prologue completed. Begin Act 1: [Rebirth 1.0]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

Itaru’s new life as an Isekai MC was… Well, it wasn’t what he was expecting. 

Itaru thought that he would be happy. He thought that all of his problems would be solved now that he was actually a main character. Yet, why did he still feel so empty? Was all the training and changing he did just for nothing?

Sure, the attention that Itaru craved as a child came. It came in the form of smiles, of small talks, of invitations. Yet, it all felt so shallow. Itaru never really had any friends. Everyone that talked to him was an enigma, a stranger. Yet, they were an enigma that he knew. A strange paradox. An unsolvable puzzle. Itaru just learned to go along with whatever they asked. Maybe then, he would feel more fulfilled. 

Day after day. Week after week. Itaru tried his best to go along with everyone in order to feel something. Lunches, study sessions, hangouts. Instead of feeling like they were fun events, they felt more like a chore. They felt like his dailies, rote interactions that he had to do in order to continue on his game. Itaru always felt bad on how he treated these “normal” interactions, but he just couldn’t muster himself up to care. 

Itaru did try to form connections with others. He would answer all of their questions, well as much as he could without exposing his true self anyways. He would ask them questions back. He followed every step that he read on an online guide on how to make and keep friends. 

Yet, it was always so frustrating for Itaru. No one really seemed to care about well... _him._ Anytime someone talked to him, it was always things like:

**[Choose Dialogue Option]**

**> ** “Itaru-kun, your hair looks so nice today! What shampoo do you use?”

**>** “Itaru-kun… I’ve noticed you since the beginning of this year and I like you a lot. You’re very smart and very handsome. Would you like to go out with me?” 

**>** “You don’t have to get up. You’re too beautiful and fragile.” 

Itaru hated it. 

Everytime Itaru looked into a mirror, he wanted to break it beyond recognition. He wanted to shatter himself into a million unconnectable pieces. 

No. 

Itaru wanted to shatter his looks into a million pieces. Yet, he knew. He knew that without his looks, he would be nothing.

Itaru eventually gave up. He asked his sister for the best shampoos, the best beauty tips. He practiced everything that made him not him. His smiles? Sweet, yet filled with hints of sadness. His voice? Soft and delicate. His personality? Nonexistent. 

Itaru always complained about those Harem MCs in Visual Novels. How cardboard has more color and depth to them than the MCs. How all of their behavior was so cringy and boring. How girls always flocked to them despite their personality not existing at all. 

Then, Itaru realized that he had become one of these MCs. Pretty, yet forgettable. A flickering candle in the wind. People weren’t there for _him_. People were there for his looks. 

It hurt at first, but Itaru grew to accept it. After all, a pretty smile was all that he ever would be. 

So, Itaru played along in this unfair game of life. He acted how society expected him to. Maybe, he would grow to like his role.

Yet, with every fake bout of laughter and every saccharine smile came a sense of disillusion. With every round of trite small talk and every awkward interaction came a sense of loneliness. With every new person came the sense of dread.

Itaru swears that he’s playing this game properly. People “like” him. He’s attractive. He gets good grades. Yet, why did his life feel so empty? 

Itaru had triggered all the flags for happiness. Yet, why wasn’t he happy?

No matter what he did, how successful or “loved” he was, how many times he _should've been happy_ , Itaru just wasn’t happy. 

Why did Itaru still bother to play this unwinnable game?

#####  **Act 1: [Rebirth 1.0] completed successfully. Would you like to move onto Act 2: [Firsts]?**

**_> [Yes]_ ** **[No]**

That day. Itaru didn’t know whether to rue that day or appreciate it. Itaru was one of the last people to leave the class and like any good protagonist, he sat in the back near a window. The sunlight was almost blindingly bright that day as he mindlessly packed up to leave.

While packing, Itaru secretly glanced at the only other person in the room with him. Itaru didn’t know much about him, but he did know that the guy’s name was Tonooka and he was supposed to be a bit of a dick. Okay, that was a bit harsh, but Tonooka wasn’t exactly the teacher’s favorite. He was one of _those_ guys in class. You know the ones. Loud, rowdy, and trouble making. A total normie.

Itaru shrugged, Tonooka wasn’t any of his concern. It was late and he might miss the showing of his favorite anime. Itaru picked up his bag and prepared to leave. However, the glare reflected from the windows accidentally got in Itaru’s eye.

“Shit… stupid sun.” Itaru muttered. Clank. Itaru couldn’t see what it was that dropped, but he was pretty sure that his heart dropped alongside it.

“You dropped something.” 

Itaru was too paralyzed with fear to do anything. “Nngh.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Itaru saw Tonooka’s eyes widen. 

Shit.

“Huh, this is-”

_Shit_. Itaru glanced up desperately at Tonooka. GG to Itaru. His run as isekai Itaru was done. He was gonna go back to the old days where no one noticed him. He was going to be nothing again. 

"It's Sir Round Table Knight, isn't it! On top of that, it's the bonus for the first press limited release of VI, right!? It sold out in no time, but you did well to buy it, huh!?”

Itaru’s eyes widened. ”Eh?” Itaru’s run wasn’t over? He wasn’t going to be a laughing stock? What was happening? How did this normie know about the limited key chain?

"Say, do you like games, Chigasaki? That's a surprise!"

_That’s what I’m supposed to say,_ Itaru thought as he took the keychain back. “Yeah. You can say that.”

Tonooka grinned. “That’s awesome bro, wanna come over to my house and game this Saturday? I just got the new Moria game that came out.”

Itaru rubbed his eyes. Was he dreaming right now? Still, maybe this was one of the flags that Itaru needed to trigger in order to obtain the status: happy.

“Yeah, sure. Let me ask my parents first.”

That was the start of Itaru’s long list of firsts with Tonooka Takumi.

Tonooka Takumi was Itaru’s first actual friend. 

Itaru never would’ve imagined that that one invitation to game from Tonooka would turn into something regular. He thought it would be like a special event that could earn him a lot of experience. However, it turned into a normal event. The two would often head somewhere, whether it was one of their houses or an arcade, and just be their true selves.

Itaru thought that these weekly excursions would join his normal dailies, but it didn’t. Unlike the usual interactions with others, this event didn’t feel like a chore. In fact, it was often the event that Itaru looked forward to the most every week.

Itaru didn’t understand why at first. Why was this so important to him? Why did he like it so much? Why did he often count the literal days, hours, and seconds until he got to game with Tonooka again?

Then, Itaru realized that it was because he wasn’t faking anything. With everyone else, he put up a façade. He played his role like he had done countless times before. With Tonooka, he didn’t need to act anymore. It was just normal interactions like…

**[Choose Dialogue Option]**

**_> _ ** _“_ You love Gwen more than I do? Then give me all 20 of the things that she has said that she liked.”

**> **“Oh my fucking god, you suck ass. If I was Princess Apricot, I’d rather get kidnapped by Bowsir than see your shitty Moria trying to rescue me.”

**> **“Ah, you’re a camper. Why don’t you just tape a sign that says ‘I’m a coward’ to your character instead?”

Sadly, the normal interactions were only saved for when it was the two of them. Tonooka wanted to keep his image, and Itaru understands that. Itaru also had an image to keep.

“I’m playing a normie character, bro. I like it better this way,” Tonooka often said, causing Itaru to snort.

“Are you playing or are you actually a normie?”

“Fuck off.”

Normal interactions like that made Itaru happy. Even if it was just something small like sharing a bag of chips or a round of friendly shit talking, it filled Itaru with a sense of worth. He finally had a friend.

Itaru Chigasaki was no longer just meandering through life, he was actually living it.

_Mission accomplished: First Friend_

Tonooka Takumi was Itaru’s first crush.

With Tonooka, Itaru felt like he could talk about anything. All of his struggles, his interests, his whole life just came pouring out when he was with Tonooka.

Itaru was never one for revealing too much about himself. That was partly due to the fact that he didn’t think there was much to reveal, but it was also due to Itaru’s fear of getting burned.

That fear wasn’t there when Itaru was around Tonooka. Tonooka made Itaru feel accepted, which wasn’t even something that he could say about his family. Whether it was a small annoyance or a serious issue, Tonooka was always there to listen. He wasn’t the best listener or the best advice giver, but he was always there. That’s all Itaru needed.

Every day, Itaru would message Tonooka and the two would stay up late talking to one another. Sometimes it was about game strategies, other times it was spilling secrets. Day after day, week after week, chat after chat, their messaging became as normal as breathing. 

It made Itaru happy.

One day however, Itaru started feeling a bit weird around Tonooka. It wasn’t a bad kind of weird, it was an unexplainable kind of weird. Itaru still loved to hang out and chat with Tonooka, but there was now something else lingering there. It pricked at Itaru unceasingly. It tied his stomach into knots. It caused his heart to beat way too quickly. 

Afraid that he might actually have some disease after faking it for so long, Itaru searched the internet for his symptoms. According to the internet, it wasn’t an illness. It was a crush.

Itaru would’ve rather taken the illness.

Now, this wasn’t to say that Itaru minded having a crush on a guy. Like, hello? Have you seen Lancelot or Gawain? Itaru would gladly date one of them (or both of them). The fact that it was his best friend was what Itaru minded.

His best friend that he sees almost every day and talks to every day.

Itaru couldn’t afford to ruin his friendship with Tonooka. It was the closest he had ever been with another human. It was what kept him from being a literal hermit. It was one of his only sources of happiness.

Seriously, Itaru would’ve rather taken the illness.

_Object acquired: Crush!_

_Itaru would like to give it back now._

Tonooka Takumi was Itaru’s first kiss.

That night started off as normal as can be. Itaru and Tonooka were having a sleepover at Itaru’s house, and as is per usual, they were gaming.

The house was completely quiet, save for the video game noises coming from the brightly lit screen in front of the two boys and the rapid clicking of controllers. That didn’t last for long.

“Hell yeah!” Tonooka yelled, watching as his character reached the finish line before Itaru’s. Itaru smacked Tonooka in the face with a pillow.

“Shut it, Tono. Did you forget that it’s fucking 3 am?” Itaru hissed.

Tonooka sheepishly rubbed his head. “Shit. Sorry man, I gotta remember that old people sleep hella early,” Tonooka whispered.

“Just be careful next time. I don’t want my sister to kick my ass.” Itaru dug into his bag of chips and took out a handful of them. He stuffed them all into his mouth.

“It’s a miracle you’re not fat.” Tonooka muttered, shaking his head.

“Thanks, my metabolism’s passive trait is speed.” Itaru once again dug into his bag of chips.

“What a cheat character. I have to exercise my ass off to be this skinny.” 

Itaru shrugged. Isekai characters always had a cheat skill. “Sucks to be you.”

“Whatever.” Tonooka rolled his eyes as he got up to stretch. Itaru’s eyes followed the lean frame of Tonooka, drinking in as much as he could. “Let’s do something else now. Moria Cart is getting boring.”

“You’re only saying that cause you finally won against me.” Itaru tore his eyes away before Tonooka had a chance to notice.

“No proof there.”

“K. Whatever.” Itaru put down his controller and turned off the game. “What do you want to do?”

“Let’s just talk. My eyes are getting kinda tired.”

“K.” Itaru turned off the television. Now, the whole house was shrouded in darkness save for the soft moonlight filtering in from the windows. Itaru sat on his bed. “Whatcha wanna talk about?”

Tonooka was quiet for awhile. 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Seconds slowly passed by as the uncomfortable silence continued. 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Itaru wasn’t sure what was taking Tonooka so long. Tonooka usually immediately knew what to talk about.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Itaru was filled with anxiety. Was Tonooka mad at him? Did Itaru accidentally trigger a bad end?

“Chiga, weird question, but have you had your first kiss yet?” 

Itaru blinked hard.

“What?” 

Tonooka looked away. “I asked if you had your first kiss yet.”

Itaru tried to catch Tonooka’s eyes, but the other boy was staring down at the ground. “Not yet.” Itaru managed to keep his voice steady, which totally meant that his acting skills went up by 1.

Tonooka looked up from the ground, choosing to stare at Itaru straight in the eye. “Wanna kiss then?”

Itaru’s brain turned off right there and then. “What…?” Itaru repeated again. His heart was beating way too quickly and his face was burning. His glasses were sliding off his face.

“I’m asking if you want to kiss.” Although Itaru couldn’t see clearly, he was pretty sure that Tonooka’s face was red too.

“But why?” Itaru questioned bluntly. His heart started to beat even more quickly after the second mention of kissing. 

“Well, all of my friends had gotten their first kiss already and I’m feeling kinda left out.” Tonooka rubbed his arm.

Itaru’s face fell. Of course. Why was he expecting something else? “Why are you asking me then? Lots of girls like you.”

“Well, I still want to lose my kiss with someone special.” Itaru could feel Tonooka’s eyes burning a hole through him.

_Someone special. Someone special. Someone special. Someone special._ Itaru’s mind repeated. Itaru swears that his face was going to melt off due to how warm it felt. 

“I see,” was all Itaru managed to force out as his mind kept on repeating _Someone special. Someone special. Someone special._

Tonooka glanced at Itaru. “Is that a yes? It’s fine if you say no, y’know. Don’t wanna force you.” 

Itaru’s heart was up to his throat now as he swallowed. “It...It’s...fine.” Itaru stuttered. Itaru wilted internally. God, he was such a disaster.

“It’s fine to do what?” Tonooka’s voice was quiet. Kind.

“Fine...to kiss...me.” Itaru was glad that he was sitting down, otherwise his legs would’ve been shaking so much that he would collapse.

Tonooka frowned. “Are you sure? I’m being serious when I say that you can say no.”

“I’m sure. Kiss me.” The words slipped out so easily that it seemed rehearsed. Itaru’s eyes widened. Where did that come from? 

Tonooka’s face was now so red that Itaru could see it using only the moonlight. “Well… okay. If you say it’s fine.”

Tonooka got up from the floor and sat down next to Itaru. Holy fuck, was this actually happening?

Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk.

Tonooka got closer and closer. 

Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk.

Tonooka's thigh was now brushing against Itaru’s.

Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk.

Tonooka was leaning in. 

Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk.

Itaru turned to meet Tonooka’s lips. 

Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk. Ticccckkkk. Tocccckkkk.

Tonooka’s lips met Itaru’s, tasting of chips and soda.

Itaru swears that he could see stars. His heart was pounding out of his chest. His brain was running fast enough to beat Sonac. 

In hindsight, the kiss wasn’t all that great. Teeth clank against teeth. Itaru’s glasses were in that uncomfortable position at the edge of his nose. However, that didn’t matter at the moment. All that matters was that Itaru was kissing his crush.

Tonooka pulled away first.

The rest of that night was filled with silence.

_Achievement Unlocked: Hey, at least you’re not gonna die without having your first kiss_

Tonooka Takumi was Itaru’s first boyfriend.

Okay, neither of them actually brought up their relationship, but Itaru was going to call it how he saw it. They were dating in everything but name.

After their first kiss, Itaru and Tonooka started kissing a lot more. Tonooka always claimed that it was just for practice for when he actually got a girlfriend, but Itaru knew otherwise. 

Tonooka also claimed that he was practicing for his girlfriend when he invited Itaru out on a date, but Itaru knew Tonooka well enough to know that the other boy was lying.

The handholding, the sudden gifts, the intimate exchanges. Itaru ate it all up. After all, who knows when he’ll actually experience it again? Itaru couldn’t believe that he actually got to experience it in the first place.

Scratch that. Itaru couldn’t believe that his real self would get to experience it. His Isekai self would’ve had no problem, but it just wouldn’t be genuine. However, this wasn’t his Isekai self. This was his real self.

With Tonooka, Itaru exposed all parts of himself. The beautiful fragile prince at school, the uncouth nerdy otaku at home, and everything in-between. 

Tonooka knew all of Itaru and still chose to accept him as he was. Tonooka chose to make out, to spend time with, to appreciate Itaru. Finally, someone appreciates him for something other than his looks.

Itaru wasn’t naive or stupid, he knew that high school relationships don’t usually last. However, it’ll probably be the last true relationship that Itaru would be in, so he’ll enjoy it as much as possible.

After all, there was no one else that would like Itaru Chigasaki for Itaru Chigasaki.

_A new person joined your party: Takumi Tonooka!_

Tonooka Takumi was Itaru Chigasaki’s first heartbreak.

Thanks to Tonooka’s popularity, Itaru got more attention. Of course Itaru was still his princely self with them, but as time went on, his façade slightly relaxed. 

What? Itaru’s evolving?

Itaru has now evolved from a personality-devoid harem protagonist to an uninteresting, but slightly flavorful, harem protagonist! 

Itaru supposed that he was now considered a normie, which was good. It meant that he wasn’t as isolated as before and people actually approached him more. He didn’t appreciate the increased attention, but he did appreciate that he didn’t need to hide all of himself anymore.

Like for example….

“Ah, you’re starting Kniroun VII? I heard that it’s good.” Itaru said casually as his classmate nodded.

“Yeah, it’s my first Kniroun game. I’m not really good at video games, so I hope I don’t suck too much at it.”

_Ah. A noob. Guess it fits though, the guy does give me huge normie vibes._ Itaru thought as he smiled gently at his classmate. “It’s fine. I’m sure you can handle it.”

“Have you ever played a Kniroun game, Chigasaki?”

Itaru paused for a bit before shrugging. “Yeah. I’ve played some games.”

“Ah, can you give me some tips then?”

Oh boy, can he. Itaru had to contain his grin. “Yeah, sure. Remember to spare your arrows in the beginning. It doesn’t do that much damage at first and you should use it to solve puzzles. Only start using them after you unlock the fire spell, so you can enchant them.”

Itaru continued to go on and on about everything that could’ve been useful for his classmate. He only beat the game three times, so he didn’t have all of the tips and tricks, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Even nerding out about Kniroun didn’t affect Itaru’s Tonooka sensor as Itaru looked up to see that his sensor was once again correct.

“Oh hey Tonooka. Nakamura-kun just got Kniroun VII. Got any tips for him?” Itaru smiled slightly at Tonooka.

However, Tonooka only frowned, his nose and eyes crinkled. He turned on his heels and left the room. 

Itaru watched Tonooka leave with a frown on his face. Was something the matter? Did a bad end flag just trip?

However, Itaru brushed it off and continued talking to his classmate. Tonooka probably just had a bad day, that’s all.

_Achievement Unlocked: Knock on wood next time_

The day after that was a day that Itaru hated to remember. 

It started off normal enough. The usual interactions, the rehearsed actions, the false pretenses. Everything was there. However, when Itaru was about to head home after class ended, he suddenly remembered that he forgot his pencil case in his classroom. When he approached the classroom, he heard some whispers drifting out to the hall.

"That guy's actually a legit nerd, you see."

"Ehh? No way."

"He doesn't seem like that at all, though."

"For real. Him being sickly's a lie too; he just skips gym class because he seriously sucks at sports. He misses PKs in soccer too. Funny, right."

"Ha, for real. I just imagined it. It was hilarious."

"What's with that? We thought he was sick but he was just skipping. Isn’t that awful?"

Oh. _Oh._ Itaru felt a sharp pain in his stomach. His heart completely shattered. Well, there goes his free trial of a new life where he was actually happy. 

Still, Itaru got a taste of the good life. He wasn’t about to go down just like that. He didn’t know what possessed him at that moment as he walked into the classroom, but he did know one thing. If they want to talk shit about him, say it to his face. He can take it.

The group of students immediately shut up, their eyes wary. 

Cowards. All of them. 

Itaru walked past all of them, well aware of the stares that he got. He calmly grabbed his pencil case and turned around to walk away. 

Among all the stares, Itaru could fear one particular one stabbing him right in the back. Fuck that guy. 

_Are you sure you want to turn off your Tonooka sensor?_

**_> [Yes] _ ** _ >[No] _

Itaru didn’t want to associate with fake people. He’s already fake enough to fill his own meter.

"Oi, wait! Chiga!" Oh, great. This tool was following him the moment his sensor got turned off. Desire and non-desire sensors are real.

“...What?” Itaru didn’t bother to stop. Tonooka’s running footsteps echoed in the hallway.

“―ngh, you can leak my hobbies to the guys in class too.” Itaru saw a glimpse of Tonooka’s face and he had to shove down his laughter. Tonooka’s face, completely red, was contorted into the ugliest expression that Itaru had ever seen.

“...I won’t do something that requires that much effort. I don’t care,” Itaru replied coolly, when he was sure that he wasn’t going to burst into laughter. Tonooka’s face somehow became more ugly as he continued to follow Itaru.

However, Itaru refused to acknowledge Tonooka’s existence. The memory of Tonooka’s face haunted Itaru for a bit, stabbing him with guilt at the thought of it. However, Itaru’s petty side was stronger as it whispered _Fuck him. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes._

That night, Itaru deleted and blocked Tonooka’s number. He then logged onto all of his games, deleting and blocking all of Tonooka’s accounts. Itaru was done carrying him.

Itaru couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness every block button that he pressed. He didn’t think that their relationship would end like this. However, Itaru forced himself to shrug it off. That’s why 2D people would be infinitely better than 3D. They’d never break his heart like this. 

Later that night, Itaru contemplated what he wanted to do. His whole act fell apart at the seams. He knew that no one could keep secrets for shit in his school, so no one’s going to trust him anymore. Itaru supposes that it’s fine to stop pretending. After all, there was only half a year of school left. He could survive this and then go back to acting when he’s in a new university with new people to trick.

_Are you sure you want to change classes?_

**_> [Yes] _ ** _ >[No] _

_Class successfully changed! You’re now a loner instead of a prince!_

In the end, Tonooka Takumi liked his reputation more than he liked Itaru.

Nothing Itaru could do about that.

#####  **Act 2 [Firsts] completed successfully. Would you like to move onto Act 3: [Rebirth 2.0]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

The rest of high school flew by in a blur as Itaru holed himself in the library every chance he got. He occasionally heard whispers in the hall when he walked by, but there was generally no reaction towards him. Pros: No bullying. Cons: He was a friendless freak. Everyone avoided him and he avoided everyone. He can’t really complain though. 

At least Itaru wouldn’t get hurt this way.

In college, Itaru didn’t really do anything. He didn’t join any clubs. He didn’t make any close friends, or any friends in general for that matter. He only went to parties to keep up his fairly good reputation. 

As for relationships…Ha. What relationships? It wasn’t like Itaru didn’t get over Tonooka yet, far from it. It was more like Itaru didn’t want the responsibilities of a relationship. Yeah. That’s it. Humans were so weird and so needy. Who needs them? 

_You started streaming because you have no one irl._ Itaru’s brain unhelpfully reminded him. Itaru then shoved that thought away.

Imagine needing other humans. Itaru can’t.

Besides, Itaru got casted as his princely isekai self again. He wasn’t gonna fuck up this time by accidentally revealing too much personality. Just sit there and look pretty. 

That’s all Itaru’s worth anyways. High school confirmed that.

People always say that universities will be some of the best years of your life, but they just blended together with the other years for Itaru. The only good thing that came from those years was that he started streaming. He supposed that streaming alone made those years bearable. 

Sadly, Itaru knew that he actually had to talk to people if he wanted a good job in the future, so he just waved and smiled throughout his whole university experience. People ate it up, much to his disappointment. However, it did give him good opportunities, so GG to him.

University quickly came and went, barely leaving an impression on Itaru. It was just like high school, but harder and with less drama. Maybe, the less drama thing stemmed from the fact that Itaru’s bond with everyone was as brittle as cheap floss, but it’s whatever. It was better for Itaru that way.

_Achievement unlocked: Finally, no more school._

_What? Itaru’s evolving? … Itaru’s now a businessman!_

Wooo… 

Well, Itaru now had a good job. Now all he has to do is work there until he retires, retire, then die. That’s the game of life. It’s not very fun, but hey. That’s where actual games come in.

Itaru knew that he was 22, but he still had the same dreams as his middle school self. He still wanted to be an isekai character with attractive people falling for him left and right. It was childish, but eh. Who can blame him?

It wasn’t like Itaru had a normal childhood.

However, after Itaru’s second year working, he triggered an SSR event and the rest was history.

Mankai Company… Itaru would’ve normally scoffed at the thought of it. Theatre kids in his school were so loud and dramatic, not his scene. However, he did need a room, and if he just stayed with them for a bit, he could save up and move out.

Yeah. Things didn't go the way Itaru planned in this playthrough as it turned out that he actually liked acting. The rest of that was history.

Now, Itaru’s doing the best that he has ever done. His happiness stat is constantly through the roof, his acting stat is pretty (always could be higher though), and he had friends. Like actual friends. Like more than one of them. Itaru honestly couldn't believe it either. 

The best part was that Itaru knew that these friends wouldn’t betray him, so he constantly let his guard down. Games? He loved them. Anime? He watched them. Friends? They’re still somehow with him. 

Suck on that, Tonooka.

Itaru also got another boyfriend. Itaru couldn’t believe this either to be honest, but apparently he did. His boyfriend was hot, smart, and apparently likes him despite seeing him whisper-yell obscenities at 3 am with a pizza-stained shirt on. If that wasn’t true feelings, then Itaru didn’t know what was. 

Suck on that, Tonooka (2).

Itaru had a successful job, good friends, hobbies that aren’t playing games, and a boyfriend who would protect him. He would say that this is a pretty successful part of the playthrough.

Itaru was now what his middle school and high school self would envy.

Honestly, that’s all that matters at times. At least, that’s what Itaru tells himself anyways.

#####  **Act 3 [Rebirth 2.0] completed successfully. Would you like to move onto Act 4: [Unromantic Senpai]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **> [No]**

Room 103 was dimly lit, the only source of light being a lamp in the far corner of Chikage’s side of the room. Itaru was currently sitting on the couch, his attention completely focused on the screen in the front of him. 

“Hey Chigasaki, don’t you have a PowerPoint to present tomorrow?” Itaru glanced up from his phone to see Chikage’s face next to him.

“Yep.”

“Aren’t you going to go over it?” Chikage raised an eyebrow. 

Itaru’s attention went back to his phone. “Later. There’s a festival right now in Bandari. Best girl Yukino is the event 4 star.”

“Chigasaki…” Chikage’s lip brushed against Itaru’s ear. “If you go over it right now, I’ll reward you later.” Chikage’s voice was low and sultry.

Itaru continued staring at his screen, but he didn’t click on the button to play another show. “Really? What’s the reward?”

Chikage’s arms wrapped themselves over Itaru’s shoulders. “I won’t cut your WiFi.”

Itaru’s face fell. “What an unromantic senpai.”

“What an uncute junior that games the night before a big presentation.”

“I’m gonna be fine, my skill in winging presentations is almost maxed out.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“Don’t you trust your cute junior?”

“Not particularly.”

“I’m wounded, senpai. I’m gonna do well tomorrow just to shove it in your face.”

“Shouldn’t you also do well because it’s your job?”

Itaru rolled his eyes. “That’s a given, but it’s a plus if I get to prove you wrong.”

“Let’s see if you can do that then.”

Itaru thought that the conversation would end there but Itaru still felt Chikage’s arms around him.

“You need something, senpai?”

“No.”

“K. What do you want, senpai?”

Chikage rested his chin on Itaru’s head. “You know what I want.”

“New spices.”

“No. Well, yes, but that’s not what I meant.”

“So, you’ll just stay here until I go and practice?”

Chikage shrugged.

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

Immediately, Chikage removed himself and went to sit at his desk.

_Achievement unlocked: I don’t know what you were expecting._

“Ugh, fine. I’m gonna practice now for your unromantic ass.” Itaru reluctantly put down his phone and dragged himself to his computer.

Itaru suddenly got a memory of high school.

_“Hey Chiga, why don’t you do your homework?”_

_“Nah. I need to finish my 6th replay of KniRoun V.”_

_“Come on Chiga. I’m gonna annoy you until you do it.”_

_“Hey, more time with you. That doesn’t sound too bad.”_

_“K. I’m gonna ignore you until you finish your homework.”_

_“Fuck, okay. I’m gonna do it now.”_

Itaru then realized that he had a type. It wasn’t the best type, but the heart (unfortunately) wants what it wants.

Itaru groaned silently, the slow WiFi not helping his mood. 

Why did Itaru have to like unromantic men? Why couldn’t he like someone that would sweep him off his feet and buy him everything that he wanted? Someone who would surprise him with dinner and gifts. Someone that would take him on spontaneous road trips.

Itaru’s pretty sure that his ex didn’t care about him enough and that the only surprise trip that Itaru would take with Chikage was to prison because Chikage got caught doing something illegal. 

_Well, that’s just how it be sometimes,_ Itaru thought as he mindlessly reviewed the PowerPoint. It was pretty straightforward and Itaru found his mind drifting away.

_I wonder what senpai looks for in a partner._ followed by a darker _Am I even good enough for him?_ caused Itaru to subtly glance at Chikage, who was typing away on his own laptop.

_What if senpai isn’t satisfied with me?_ Itaru instinctively ran a hand through his hair.

Itaru would like to believe that he was enough, but… he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like Chikage ever said anything against it. However, Chikage never said anything for it either.

Chikage just never said anything about their relationship. Maybe that meant that Itaru wasn’t doing good enough.

Itaru exited his PowerPoint and typed “How to be a good boyfriend” into the search bar. He wanted Chikage to be happy.

Chikage deserved to be happy.

_Achievement unlocked: It’s not simping if it’s for your boyfriend._

#####  **Act 4 [Unromantic Senpai] completed successfully. Would you like to move onto Act 5: [Romantic Gestures]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

In hindsight, Itaru should've seen this happening. The night started off pleasant with its bright moon and its soft breezes. However, it all went downhill from there. 

Currently, Itaru was sitting in front of Chikage with two plates filled with dinner that Itaru made, or at least tried to make. Chikage only gave Itaru a slightly cocked eyebrow, but that was enough for Itaru to know.

Sighing, Itaru got up and brought the dishes to the sink. Itaru knew that he couldn't cook, but apparently it was the number one way to a person's heart, so he couldn't NOT try it. After all, how hard could it possibly be anyways? Well, he should've listened to his screaming brain at the time because now their entire room smelled like burnt chicken and he had to ask Azuma for some candles to light.

Itaru glanced down at the plates before glancing up at Chikage, trying to gauge his reaction. However, the man’s face was neutral, per usual. Silently, Itaru cursed at his skill to read Chikage. He thought it was high enough, but apparently he needed to be level 12 when he was just level 10. Oh well, he’ll grind his EXP until he reaches it. 

“So… dinner was a fail.” Itaru said awkwardly, mechanically scrubbing the dishes.

“Indeed.” 

“Well, guess I should’ve asked Omi next time. Gotta learn from a master first.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask him this time.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think I was _that_ much of a noob.”

“Well, you are.” 

Ouch. Itaru felt a sharp pang of disappointment stab him. “TIL.”

“Say Chigasaki, why did you even try to cook? You constantly complain about how much you can’t do so.”

Itaru opened his mouth but then quickly closed it. “...I just wanted to practice. That’s it.” Itaru lied. It was too cheesy and embarrassing to say _I cooked it to try and make you happy. I don’t want to seem useless and I wanted to prove my worth to you._

Chikage’s face turned from that of neutrality to one of slight disappointment. Itaru could practically see the banner that read _Chikage’s affection went down by 5 points._ He ignored the uncomfortable pool of emotions churning in his stomach. It was fine. This was fine. 

Chikage sighed. "Let me handle dinner next time, Chigasaki." Chikage got up to pick up his phone, scrolling through it to find the best takeout deals. Itaru refused to look at his boyfriend, instead focusing on scrubbing the dish a little too hard. 

Itaru should've just listened to his gut instead of trusting some random article on the Internet. Almost nothing good ever came out of those stupid, trashy tabloid websites and yet Itaru listened to advice from them, so really who was the stupid one here? Still though, Itaru just wanted to surprise his boyfriend and well... Well, here he is with 2 half-assedly washed plates of burnt chicken and a boyfriend who was probably done with his shit. 

Itaru knew that he couldn't cook, but he wanted to show Chikage that he was willing to try new things for him. To show that he could be a good boyfriend that dotes on Chikage too. To show that he was a man of wider varieties than acting and gaming. Yeah, that failed miserably so maybe Itaru should just shut up next time and just stick with things that he _could_ do. 

Well, what could Itaru do that was romantic? He wasn’t sure but that wasn’t something to dwell on until all the lights were off and there was only silence. 

“Hey Chigasaki, I’m ordering us a pizza.”

Instantly, Itaru perked up. Maybe he _was_ an unromantic, uncute junior who couldn’t do anything properly but at least he has pizza. 

“Thanks, senpai.”

Emotions were fickle creatures and Itaru couldn’t tame them. Sighing, Itaru finished washing the dishes, placing them back where they belong. Alongside placing the dishes back where they belong, Itaru placed his emotions back where they belonged: hidden. He’ll deal with them later, way later.

Next time, Itaru should stick with something that he could do.

_Achievement unlocked: At least you didn’t burn down the kitchen._

#####  **Bad Ending of Act 5: [Romantic Gestures]**

_Would you like to try again?_

**_> [Yes]_ ** **[No]**

Okay, cooking had obviously been a bad idea, but Itaru couldn’t possibly mess _this_ idea up. 

Itaru was sitting on the couch, his eyes occasionally darting to his desk. He could see the tip of the plastic bag peeking out from under the desk. Alright, it’s still there. Now, there’s only one thing, or person, missing.

Itaru heard some shifting outside of the dorm and he eagerly looked out of the window. His face fell when he saw the shadow of a tree shaking in the wind as dark clouds obscured the moon. 

Itaru glanced down at his phone. Chikage should be home any minute. A few minutes later, almost as if Itaru summoned him, the doorknob turned and Chikage walked in. The man’s face was dull and instead of the usual graceful movements that he would do to undress, Chikage just carelessly took off his clothes and threw it in the hamper. 

“You okay, senpai?” Itaru asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

Chikage didn’t say anything, choosing only to walk silently to the couch. He sat down next to Itaru, wrapping his arms around Itaru’s waist. Chikage then buried his face into Itaru’s shoulder.

Well. There goes all of Itaru’s plans.

Itaru shifted a bit to make sure that Chikage was as comfortable as possible.

“Hey senpai, I got you that special curry that usually sells out in like 5 minutes.” Itaru murmured as Chikage didn’t move.

“...Thanks Chigasaki, but I’m not hungry right now.” 

“Alright. It’s by my desk if you want it.”

Itaru felt a spot on himself where Chikage was getting it wet. 

Fuck.

Itaru knew that their relationship meant that it was none of Itaru’s business what Chikage did, but the man was crying for Lancelot’s sake. 

However, Itaru knew that Chikage would rather him not comment on it, so Itaru shifted so that Chikage was crying into his chest. It made it easier for Itaru to hug him and he wasn’t completely sure, but he thought that his tits were more comfortable than his shoulder. 

Chikage appreciated the change in position as he hugged Itaru more tightly. Itaru felt that spot get wet and he silently reminded himself to wash it.

The room was dead quiet, the smell of curry completely filling it. Chikage’s embrace was warm and sincere. It felt very open, which was unexpected but very welcomed considering how Chikage normally was. 

After a few minutes, Chikage slowly removed his face. It was perfectly neutral. The only thing betraying him was that his eyes were slightly red. 

“Did your HP finish replenishing senpai?” Itaru asked, his tone light.

“Not exactly.” Chikage’s voice was even and calm as usual.  
  
“F.” Itaru was always proud of his eloquent responses.

“F indeed.”  
  
Itaru could hear the leaves rustling outside. Itaru quickly glanced out the window to see that some of the clouds had cleared to reveal a sliver of moonlight. Itaru took that as a sign. 

“You doing okay, senpai?” Itaru asked cautiously. A deep breath. Slight shifting. 

“I’m fine, Chigasaki.” Chikage took off his glasses and cleaned it with his shirt. Itaru watched Chikage’s slightly shaky hands betray his flawless poker face. 

**[Choose a dialogue option]**

**_> “Are you sure you’re fine?”_ ** **_  
_ ** _ > “I see.” _ _  
_ _ > “Want to eat curry then?” _

_ > “Oh fuck, my SP is full. I need to check it.” _

Chikage rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses back on. “I said I’m _fine,_ Chigasaki.” Chikage’s voice had an edge to it. 

Itaru winced as he could practically see the _“You’ve lost 5 affection with Chikage.”_ banner pop up. 

Well, time to pick what he thought was the second best choice.  
  


“Ah. Then, would you like to eat the curry? It might be a bit lukewarm, but you can microwave it.” Itaru stood up awkwardly and went over to his desk. He pulled out the bag that he haphazardly hid.

Chikage shook his head. “I’d rather eat something else.”

“Huh? What do you want to eat then?” 

“Put down the curry bag and come to the couch. I’ll tell you.”

“K.” Itaru put the bag on the floor, next to his desk.

Itaru went to the couch and in hindsight, he really should’ve expected it. However, his eyes widened when Chikage pinned him to the couch. 

“Ah fuck, you want to eat me, huh?”

Chikage licked his lips. “I’m surprised that you didn’t realize that sooner.”

“I’m surprised too tbh.”

Chikage’s hand went up Itaru’s shirt. “Well, what do you say?”

“As long as you’re not the only one eating here, I’m down.” Itaru slightly shuddered as Chikage’s other hand went down his pants.

“Got it.” 

Chikage brought his face close to Itaru’s, planting a sloppy trail of kisses down Itaru’s jawline. 

In between his moans, Itaru couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. Not about the upcoming event of course, but about the reason why it was happening. Was their relationship just based off of sex? 

Itaru sighed. If it was, he wouldn't be surprised. Everything always came back to his looks.

#####  **Special Ending of Act 5 [Romantic Gestures]**

_Would you like to try again?_

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

Itaru supposed that anything that had to do with food was cursed, so he had to find something else.

Google comes to the rescue! Itaru read through articles and articles and he silently noted the similarities between them.

After an hour, he summarized everything that he read. So, he had to give lots of gifts, compliment Chikage a lot, be extra mindful of what Chikage wants and is feeling, and spend a lot of time with him. 

Yeah, that didn’t exactly sound too attractive to Itaru.

Time to just go with the classic way.

Smooth jazz, soft laughter, low voices. People in designer clothes that cost more than his yearly salary, stern-faced waiters with alert eyes, dim lights that barely kept darkness at bay. Itaru shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He’s never played this map before.

“Chigasaki. When you asked if I wanted to go on a date, I thought you’d take me to an arcade. Not here,” Chikage said, smiling at the waiter who handed them both a menu. 

“I don’t think you really enjoy the arcade, so why not try something new?”

“I can see that, but why here?” Chikage gestured around. The quiet conversations that Itaru heard before were drowned out by his own heartbeats. 

Itaru drummed his fingers on the table. “I mean it’s highly rated everywhere. It’s ranked number one for couples. It’s raved by critics.”

“It’s also highly expensive. I appreciate it, but I’d be fine if we were at some booth in some normal café. You don’t have to spend that much.” 

Itaru’s face was calm, however he couldn’t help bury slightly wince internally. The reservations were a pain. He had to sacrifice some of his gacha funds to be able to eat here. Yet, Chikage didn’t really seem to care.

“Maybe, but it’s an experience, senpai. Gotta eat here once on this playthrough.”

“I guess. I’m not letting you pay for it though. We’re splitting the bill.”

“Thanks.”

This was totally not going how Itaru was expecting it to go. All of the reviews and blog posts and ads showed that this was supposed to be the one of the most special moments in a couple’s life. Yet, Chikage’s just casually sipping on his wine, seemingly unimpressed. 

Maybe, Itaru can turn this around.

“So, senpai. Fancy place huh?”

Chikage shrugged. “I’ve been to fancier.”

“I see.”

Never mind, Itaru can’t turn this around. The smooth jazz picked up into something more upbeat. 

Well, whatever. It was still a nice date. 

Itaru picked up his wine glass and held it up. 

_Pick a dialogue option:_

_ > Cheers to you being unromantic _

_ > Cheers to me getting that SSR that I want _

_ > Cheers to our relationship working despite both of us being unromantic and awkward _

**_> Cheers to us being in love_ **

Haha, just kidding. Maybe. 

**[Pick a dialogue option]**

_ > Cheers to you being unromantic _

_ > Cheers to me getting that SSR that I want _

**_> Cheers to our relationship working despite both of us being unromantic and awkward_ **

_ > Cheers to us being in love _

Chikage’s lips quirked up. “Cheers indeed.”

The clank of glasses. The hitch in Itaru’s throat. The sudden loudness of Itaru’s own thoughts. 

_If something that worked for so many couples didn’t work for you and Chikage-san, maybe the issue isn’t with the plans. What if the problem is just you?_

Itaru brought the glass up to his lips and drank.

#####  **Neutral Ending of Act 5 [Romantic Gestures].**

_Would you like to try again?_

**_> [Yes]_ ** **[No]**

After everything, maybe Itaru should just keep it simple. 

  
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication after all. Itaru looked at the basket in his hands. Nothing is more cliche than a gift basket, right? 

A bouquet of Lily of the Valleys that was just picked up from the florist, a rabbit plushie that Itaru totally didn’t spend a ridiculous amount on to win it from a claw machine, and a box of exotic spicy chocolate that made Itaru’s eye water just by reading the description. Some of the items might be a bit unorthodox, but Chikage was an unorthodox man. 

Itaru opened the door to room 103, silently hoping that Chikage wasn’t on one of his “business trips” or wasn’t busy with his other job. The door creaked open and Itaru peered inside. 

“Chigasaki, why are you acting like you don’t live here? Just come in and close the door. Some insect might get in.” Chikage looked up from the couch, where he was sitting cross legged on with his laptop in his lap. 

“I was just trying to see if you were there.” Itaru replied defensively, quickly entering the room. 

Chikage cocked an eyebrow at the basket. “I assume that’s for me?”

“No, it’s obviously for Caspar the Friendly Ghost. I don’t know why you would possibly think this is for you.” 

Chikage rolled his eyes, but the barest hint of a smile on his face betrayed him. “What an uncute junior to not admit the truth about his gift.”

“What an unromantic senpai that doesn’t even wait for his super cute junior to give him said gift.”

“Fine, I’ll play. Let’s pretend the last few minutes didn’t happen.”

“You saying that makes me not want to do it.”

“Seriously uncute.”

Ah, a familiar scene. Maybe, this was the flag to say that Itaru would finally get the good ending on this act. 

Itaru handed the basket to Chikage. “Here you go, senpai. This is for you.”

A pause. Then two. Then three. 

“Thanks.” Chikage accepted the basket without as much as a smile. 

_Achievement Unlocked: Fuck it, it’s my fault then_

Itaru forced a smile. “You’re welcome. Hope you like it.”

Chikage placed the rabbit on his bed and the rest of the basket on his desk. He then settled back down on the couch, his attention back on his laptop. At least he liked the rabbit. 

“What’re you gonna name the rabbit?” Itaru was desperate to cling onto anything to save this act.

Chikage shrugged. “Why would I name it? It’s just a stuffed animal.”

“Giving something a name automatically gives it 15 affection points to you.” 

“I’m well aware of that.”

“Don’t you like naming things?”

Chikage stiffened. “I don’t really like growing attached to things.”

**[What would you like to do?]**

**_> _ ** _Question_

_ > Don’t question Chikage _

_ > Ask if Chikage is attached to you _ _  
_ **_> Curl up into a ball and lament about all of your insecurities_ ** _  
_ _ > Check your phone and pretend like you don’t have any feelings _

There’s a time and place for everything, but not now. 

**[What would you like to do?]**

_ > Question Chikage _

**_> Don’t question Chikage_ ** _  
_ _ > Curl up into a ball and lament about all of your insecurities _ _  
_ _ > Check your phone and pretend like you don’t have any feelings _

Itaru couldn’t risk saying something wrong again. 

Chikage gazed at Itaru. “Are you okay, Chigasaki?”

_No. I’m such a mediocre boyfriend that I can’t make you happy._ laid on Itaru’s tongue, heavy like lead. 

“Yep, I’m just sad because I didn’t get my waifu in Greenblue Fantasy.” It slipped out so easily, so casually. 

Chikage’s face was his usual neutral one, but Itaru could see the slightest purse of his lips. “If it really upsets you that much, I’ll name the plushie.”

_“That’s not the issue.”_

“Really, I don’t mind. It’s yours anyways. I don’t have any jurisdiction over it.” Itaru attempted a casual shrug, but he was sure that it ended up more heavy than planned. 

Something flashed in Chikage’s eyes but it disappeared as quickly as it came. “I see.” 

“Yep.”

Stifling silence slithered into the suddenly tense room. Well, Itaru should leave now. Maybe it was time for him to once again ignore his feelings in the sea of in-app transactions. 

“Taruchiusa.” Chikage’s voice was a lot softer than it usually was. 

“What?” 

“That’s the plushie’s name.” 

Taruchiusa… Itaru didn’t want to admit it, but it was a cute name. 

“Is that the ship name of famous streamer taruchi and famous curry blogger chikausa?” 

A lot of the tension in the room slipped away, but Itaru knew that it was just waiting. Waiting to creep in again and wreak havoc on an already failed stage. 

“I suppose it is.”

“That’s awfully romantic of you, senpai. Did you suddenly get possessed?”

“Nice to see that you’ll never lose your uncuteness.” 

“Of course. Who else would be able to match your unromanticness?” 

Chikage’s lip quirked up. “I don’t know, but I’d rather not find out.” 

“Neither would I. I pride myself on being your one and only uncute junior. It’s a special title.”

Chikage patted the empty spot on the couch next to him. “Don’t get such a big head. It’s not exactly a title that you should show off.”

Itaru sat down. “Well, what other titles can I show off?”

“I think Itaru Chigasaki is a good enough title as it is.” 

Itaru felt the slightest flush on his face. “Wow, two for two. I really do think you got possessed by some romantic ghost.” 

Chikage put down his laptop and pulled Itaru into his lap. “Would you like me to be unromantic then?”

_Yeah, so I don’t feel as bad about being unromantic too._

“You can’t be my unromantic senpai without the unromantic part.” 

Chikage nuzzled his face in the nape of Itaru’s neck. 

“Noted.” 

Itaru supposed that this ending wasn’t too bad. Was he still someone who couldn’t please his boyfriend? Yep. Was his gut unfurling like a deadly snake about to strike? Yep. Was he feeling like complete shit after failing this scene 5 times? Yep. 

But, hey. At least Itaru got cuddles from his boyfriend. 

Not that he deserved it.

Neutral Ending of Act 5 [Romantic Gestures].

#####  _Would you like to try again?_  
**[Yes]** ** _> [No]_** ** _  
_****_  
_****Would you like to move on to Act 6 [An Old (Boy)Friend]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

The bustle of the workers. The steady stream of customers going in and out. The smell of freshly brewed coffee. Everything about this scene should’ve been familiar. 

Yet, it wasn’t. 

Why might you ask?

“You okay, Chiga? You’re looking kinda out of it,” an all too familiar voice said, rough and unsure. That’s why. 

Itaru sighed and picked up his overly sweet latte, taking a half-hearted sip. Chikage always did hate it when Itaru drank them, claiming that it’s not real coffee and was just a bunch of sugar and milk mixed together. He wished that Chikage was here. 

“I’m fine, Tonooka, I didn’t expect to go from a quick snack run into whatever this is.” Itaru gestured towards the man in front of him and then back at himself. 

“Don’t complain about it too much. You’re the one that agreed to it in the first place.” Tonooka 

Itaru opened his mouth and then closed it. He couldn’t argue against that.

_Itaru wants to run away from the battle._

_…_

_Sorry, you can’t flee from a trainer battle._

_Fuck._

“That’s true.” Itaru flashed a polite smile at Tonooka, internally hoping that the rest of the event would just be them awkwardly drinking coffee without saying another word to each other.

Itaru really should learn how to knock on wood. 

“Well, how are you doing? Your streams don’t really tell me much about your private life.” Tonooka took a sip of his coffee. It was a cup of coffee with 2 tablespoons of sugar and creamer. Itaru hated that he still remembered Tonooka’s usual coffee order. 

“Streams aren’t supposed to tell you about my life. Me as a streamer is different than me normally.” Itaru’s response was a lot more pointed than it sounded in his head. 

Tonooka seemed unphased, instead choosing to look around the cafe for a bit before his attention shifted back to Itaru. “I know. That’s why I’m asking you about how you’re doing.” 

Tonooka was looking too hard at Itaru. Itaru would just like to… not exist at that moment. 

“I’m doing fine. What about you?”

“I’m also doing fine.”

“That’s good to hear.” Itaru shifted in his seat. He wondered if anyone noticed that his snack run was longer than usual. 

“How is your job?”

“Fine. How’s your job?” 

“Also fine. I get to see God a lot.” There was a ghost of a smirk on Tonooka’s face. What a bastard.

Itaru forced his scowl down. “That’s good. Nice to see that the lesser fan of KniRoun gets to compensate his love with interactions with God.” 

Tonooka rolled his eyes. “I see someone’s jealous of me. Figures.” 

“Why would I be jealous of you? You’re not the person that’s known to be one of the biggest KniRoun streamers.” Itaru’s voice was a lot more defensive than he wanted it to be.

Tonooka snorted. “Don’t get all riled up now, Chiga. It’s unbecoming.”

What did Itaru ever see in this guy?

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m not riled up at all.” 

“I know you too well, Chiga. I know that voice. That look in your eye.” Tonooka offered Itaru a smile. Itaru pointedly ignored him. 

As much as Itaru would say that Tonooka didn’t know him at all, he couldn’t say that. Tonooka sadly _did_ know him. He knew Itaru the best for many many years. Well…

“You _did_ know me.” 

Those four words wiped the smile off of Tonooka’s face. Itaru couldn’t help but feel smug inside. 

“Then, I would like to get to know you now.” 

The whiplash that Itaru’s emotion just had would’ve made the fastest roller coaster jealous. 

“No thanks,” was Itaru’s immediate response.

Tonooka furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Why?”

“You know why,” was Itaru’s clipped response. 

“That was literal years ago.”

“Yeah, and I still don’t want anything to do with you beyond professional obligations.”

“Chiga. I was young and dumb. I wanted to keep my popularity. You know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, but I still don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Why?” 

Itaru shrugged. “I don’t like your vibes.”

Tonooka frowned. “Is that all?”

“Yeah. My vibe checker has helped me my whole life, so I’m gonna trust it.”

“Not a very good reason.”

“I think it’s a great reason.”

Tonooka paused, making the entering and exiting of the other customers very apparent. Itaru was suddenly glad that they were in a crowded place. He didn’t think he could take bouts of awkward silence with the guy in front of him.

“You have a partner, huh.” It wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement, flat and cold. 

Itaru shrugged. “So what if I do? None of your business.”

“It’s that green-haired guy right… Utsuki-san? The one that was on my ass about exposing taruchi.” Itaru was quiet, looking around at anything and anyone that wasn’t the guy in front of him. 

“Hm. So that’s your type. He was Gawain in the play right? I guess you guys say Lanwain rights.”

“I really don’t know how that’s any of your concern.” Itaru said coldly. 

“Well, it is my concern because I want you back.” Tonooka reached out for Itaru’s hand, which was resting on the table, wrapped around his latte. However, Tonooka paused right before he could reach.

Itaru couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Don’t we actually have to date first in order to ‘get back together’?” 

“Huh? We were together. Did you forget high school?” 

“I wish I could, but I didn’t,” Itaru replied, his voice bitter. 

“Well, then you remember when we dated.”

“No, I don’t. I remember when we kissed, when we went out, when I spilled my whole life out to you.”

Tonooka nodded, his face slightly brightening. “Yeah, that was us dating.”

Itaru shook his head. “No, that wasn’t. You’ve always made it _explicitly_ clear that you just wanted to practice on me for when you get an actual girlfriend.”

Tonooka visibly flinched. “Well… um… About that…” He stuttered as Itaru could see his own win counter go up. Kitakore.

“Listen. I was stupid.” Tonooka finally managed to say.

“I’m well aware of that.” 

Tonooka sent a dirty glare at Itaru. “Let me continue, Chiga. I was stupid and I didn’t know what I really wanted-” 

Itaru held up his hand, cutting Tonooka off. “I’m not interested. You’re right. I am in a relationship with Chikage-san.”

Tonooka scowled. “Yeah. I kinda figured. But-” 

“But what? Even if I was single, I don’t want to have any interaction with you outside of the necessary professional ones.” Tonooka’s eyes at that moment looked the exact same as that fateful day. It almost made Itaru feel bad. Almost. 

“What’s this then?” Itaru could still hear a shred of hope in Tonooka’s voice. 

“An SSR event flag got tripped.” Calm, cool, collected. 

_+5 to Itaru’s passive aggressive skill._

“Chiga. Don’t play with me like this,” Tonooka pleaded.

Itaru shrugged. “Honestly, you played a stupid game with yourself in year 3. Now, you’re getting a stupid prize.”  
  
“Chiga, please. Just let me talk.”

Itaru stood up, taking his coffee with him. “Well, it’s been nice catching up with you. Please don’t invite me again.”

“Itaru. Please. Give me 5 minutes. I swear that’s it.”

Itaru considered it. Then, he unconsidered it when he realized that he could do all of his dailies in 5 minutes instead of half-listening to whatever Tonooka would say.

“No thanks. That’s too much effort.”

“Please. Please. Just give me a chance. Itaru please.” Tonooka was outright begging at this point. Itaru didn’t know how, but this scene was even more pathetic than the high school one.

“Okay, I’m going to be honest here. I only came here with you because I wanted to clear things up so that I don’t feel like I’m in high school again whenever I see your face again. I’m assuming that End Links and Mankai will be working together on more projects in the future and I don’t want to do anything to mess that up.” 

_Tonooka will remember that._

“So, this was a professional meeting?” Tonooka’s voice was quiet, barely heard over the constant chattering of the people waiting in line.

“Always was.”

“But…”

“There’s no buts. I’m taken, you were stupid, our relationship got destroyed in high school. Life goes on.” Itaru turned and was about to leave before he heard Tonooka’s voice again. 

“Then answer me this. Is it going well?”

Itaru froze, his back still to Tonooka. Fuck. Why did Tonoka have to ask this question? 

_I’m not even sure if he’s happy with me, if I’m doing anything right at all._ laid on Itaru’s tongue, threatening to spill out like a disastrous wave. 

“...Yeah, it’s going well.” The words sounded hollow. 

Itaru could feel Tonooka’s gaze burning a hole through him. Itaru knew that he took too long to answer.

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Well, I’m sure.”

“C’mon Chiga, this can be like the old times. All the kisses, the dates, the laughter. We can go back to it. Start anew.” Tonooka pleaded.

“No. There’s no chance to replay this game. Find someone else.” Itaru replied coldly as he left Tonooka again. However, this time… It was for good.  
  
Itaru didn’t see it, but Tonooka scowled.

“Well, good luck. You clearly don’t care about anyone if you’re throwing away our whole history like that. Let’s see how long this ‘relationship’ will last before it ends. Nothing ever lasts with you, you’re so fake that everything’ll fall apart when your lies catch up with you. It always did and it always will,” was the last thing Itaru heard. 

Itaru flinched. He knew that Tonooka was just a sore loser, but it still hurt considering the fact that Tonooka really was the first person that knew Itaru as himself, not the romanticized, heavily edited version. 

However, the final two lines that Tonooka said kept repeating in his head. Was it true? It couldn’t be true… right?

Itaru shook his head. He can think about this later, having bad thoughts while driving would probably be in a top 10 list on how people got into the hospital in dramas. He didn’t want to go to the hospital, he would miss out on so many events and the food is terrible. 

_Would you like to use your skill: Emotional Repression?_

**_> Yes _ ** _ >No _

_Skill used successfully!_

Well, the terrible ending out of the way, this meeting with Tonooka did prove one thing. Itaru may not know how his relationship with Chikage was, but he knew what his relationship with Tonooka was. 

Dead.

_Achievement (unfortunately) Unlocked: Encounter with your (not really) ex_

#####  **Act 6 [An Old (Boy)Friend] completed. Would you like to move on to Act 7 [Talks]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **[No]**

Itaru stumbled home, tired after that meeting with Tonooka. He quietly unlocked the door, the bag of snacks swinging precariously in his arms. 

The sun was on the verge of setting, its rays bathing everything in a hazy glow. The evening winds were starting to arrive, not too chilly but not unnoticeable. Huh, had Itaru really been gone that long?

Itaru pushed the door in to find Chikage at his desk.

“Chigasaki, where were you?” Chikage glanced up from his computer. His eyes went from the bag in Itaru’s hands to Itaru’s tired face. “What happened? Did you get sucked into an arcade again?”

Itaru shook his head. “I wish.” 

“Then what happened?” 

Itaru kicked off his shoes, changed into his normal clothes, and placed his bag of snacks lovingly on his desk. Then, Itaru collapsed face first onto the couch. 

“Tonooka.” 

Chikage’s head snapped up. “Did he try to expose taruchi again?” Chikage’s voice was calm, but Itaru knew him well enough to hear the slight warning tone in it. 

“No. I wish he did though, that would’ve been much easier to handle.” Itaru sighed, his voice muffled by the seat cushion. This position was nice. He could feel the last remaining sun rays, warm on his back without the necessary evil of actually having to see the sun. 

“Chigasaki, what did he do?” Itaru heard Chikage’s chair slide out.

“He just tried to get back with me.”

Itaru suddenly became way too aware of every little noise. The rustle of the leaves outside. The ticking of his exclusive Kniroun clock. His own breaths. 

“I’m sorry, he did what?” Uh oh. Why did Itaru hear boss music?

“Don’t worry about it senpai, I told him off. His look at that moment was somehow even sadder than his look in high school.” 

“How did this even happen?” 

“Well, I was on my usual quest to buy healing items and then I happened to bump into him. He still buys the same type of chips as when he was in high school, which really should tell you all that you need to know about him because those chips suck more than Kniroun II’s swimming mechanics.”

“How’d you two even end up talking about relationships then? You could’ve just pretended like you didn’t know him. That’s what you did that one time we ran into your old classmates.”

Itaru winced. “Well… he invited me to have coffee with him.”

“And you said yes?” 

“Yeah, but I only said yes because I wanted to get everything over with. I want to be able to look at that guy in the face if Mankai ever does collab with End Links again and not be reminded of my loser time.”

“...Didn’t you tell me to restart my game? Why didn’t you restart yours? That would’ve made things a lot simpler.” 

Itaru sighed. “It would, but sadly there’s a restriction on my game called being a hypocrite where I dish out advice that I can’t keep.”

Chikage was silent, leaving Itaru to bask in his feelings and only his feelings because the sun was setting.

“Chigasaki, if I can somewhat reset my game. You can too.” Unsure. It wasn’t a word that was typically used to describe Chikage. However, that was the only word that Itaru could come up with to describe Chikage’s voice at that moment. 

“I’ve reset my game so many times, but they all end up the same.” 

“The same?” 

_“Nothing ever lasts with you, you’re so fake that everything’ll fall apart when your lies catch up with you. It always did and it always will.”_

_Skill time ended._

Fuck. 

“Yeah, the same.” 

Itaru hoped that this run wouldn’t end the same as the others. That it wouldn’t end up with Itaru being alone again. Itaru couldn’t have another repeat of middle school,of high school, of college.

Itaru didn’t want to be alone again. 

“Chigasaki. Are you okay?” Chikage’s voice was soft as Itaru felt familiar hands stroking his hair. 

“Yeah.” _No._

Itaru heard Chikage sigh. 

“I’m not going to push it but if there’s anything that I can do to clear your mind, tell me.” 

_Choose a dialogue option:_

_ > “Please don’t leave me.” _

_ > “How is our relationship?” _

_ > “Do you love me?” _

_ > “Are your feelings for me even real?” _

_ > “I just want you to kiss me stupid so that I can stop being emo even though I know that it’ll flare up my insecurities.” _

Itaru didn’t like any of these options. They were all so emo and so emotional. Ugh. Emotions. They were such a pain.

“Chigasaki?” 

_Choose dialogue option:_

_ > “Please don’t leave me.” _

**_> “How is our relationship?”_ **

_ > “Do you love me?” _

_ > “Are your feelings for me even real?” _

_ > “I just want you to kiss me stupid so that I can stop being emo even though I know that it’ll flare up my insecurities.” _

Chikage’s hand froze, still tangled in Itaru’s hair. 

“It’s...fine.” 

_Critical Hit_

“Fine, huh? What does that mean?” 

“It’s fine. We’re together. We don’t fight. We do things that couples do.”

_Am I really not good enough? Am I just a placeholder boyfriend until Chikage finds a better person? Am I just someone to practice on? Is that all I’m worth?_

Itaru didn’t think so. Well, he didn’t want it to be true. 

“Is it just fine?” Itaru couldn’t help the desperation that leaked from his voice.

“Yeah, it’s just fine.” Chikage removed his hand from Itaru’s hair.

_Critical Hit_

“I see.” 

_Fine. That’s all I’ll ever be. I won’t ever be good enough to be more than fine.”_

Itaru wanted to say that it was fine, but it really wasn’t.

#####  **Act 7 [Talks] completed successfully. Would you like to move to act 8 [Fine]?**

**_> [Yes] _ ** **> [No]**

Fine. Fine. Fine.

The word itself was… well. Fine. However, it wasn’t good enough for Itaru. 

His whole life, Itaru had always been fine. He wasn’t particularly smart or funny or noticeable. He always just blended in with the crowd.

That’s where Itaru’s looks came in.

Itaru’s looks were the first things about him that were more than just fine. They were the first thing that got him attention, got him compliments, got him feeling more than fine.

They were really the only thing that Itaru had going for himself. 

Itaru’s gaming abilities weren’t bad, but there were better people. His acting was okay, but a lot of others far outshined him. If the two things he were the best at were just okay, then what even was Itaru good at?

Nothing. He was just fine.

Itaru really hated that word, despite the amount of times he used it. It was just a reminder that it was all that he could amount to.

Mediocrity. Itaru was stuck in a loop of mediocrity and he couldn’t get out. 

#####  **Act 8 [Fine] completed successfully. Would you like to move to Act 9 [Better]?**

**_> Yes _ ** **> No**

The moon was high in the sky, shining brightly without any clouds to obstruct it. Mankai was silent, with only slight sounds coming from closed doors. Things were going on as usual. However, in room 103, things weren’t going on as normal.

“Hey senpai, do you think I’m attractive?”

It might’ve seemed out of character for Itaru to ask this, but rest assured it’s for his character development. 

Game plan: Focus on the one (1) thing he’s good at, go from there to try and make the relationship more than fine.

Chikage looked at Itaru with slight surprise in his eyes, the moonlight making his glasses glint in the dark. “Yeah. Why?”

“Well… I’ve just been wondering. You’ve never really said anything.” 

Okay, good. Itaru could continue with his plan.

Chikage shrugged. “I’ve never been one to use niceties. You know this.”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure, that’s all.” 

Itaru hated relying on his looks, but his want for him and Chikage to succeed in this relationship far outweighed his reluctance to use his looks. It wasn’t like Itaru hasn’t relied on his looks for his whole life, another instance of it won’t hurt.

Besides, it wasn’t like Itaru was going to rely on his looks for his whole relationship. Right? 

Itaru quickly reached over and knocked on his wooden desk, causing Chikage to glance at him weirdly. Thankfully, Chikage didn’t say anything.

“Besides, I’ve met a lot of people more attractive than you.”

_Critical Hit_

Never mind, Chikage did say something. Itaru wished that he would’ve said _anything_ else. Itaru would’ve been totally fine being roasted for randomly knocking on wood.

“You have?” Itaru tried to sound casual, but inside was a huge mess.

“Yeah.” 

“That’s nice.” 

Translation: That was not nice. 

Well fuck. How was Itaru supposed to go along with his plan now? If Chikage had met more attractive people, then Itaru’s skill would probably not be effective.

Itaru glanced around his room, dark and cold. Nothing was showing up that could help him form a new plan. 

Itaru wasn’t going to give up on this relationship, but he didn’t want a stagnant relationship. He didn’t want a just fine relationship. He wanted a relationship that was great for the both of them.

Yet, who was he kidding? Itaru can’t do that. He can’t even properly display his own feelings for Chikage, much less continuously keep up a great relationship.

Well, Itaru supposes that he would have to settle for a “fine” relationship and hope that Chikage wouldn’t leave him for someone better.

Itaru wouldn’t blame him if he did, but he would rather not have that happen. He actually was really happy with Chikage and he wanted them to last as long as possible. 

To be quite honest, Itaru didn’t think he would find anyone better. 

#####  **Act 9 [Better] completed successfully. Would you like to move to Act 10 [Cheat Character]?**

While Itaru had to be reborn as an isekai character, Itaru was quite sure that Chikage was just naturally one. Attractive, athletic, intelligent. Chikage was everything that Itaru wanted to be.

Cooking, sewing, playing instruments. Chikage seemed to be able to do everything. No matter what the situation required, Itaru knew that somehow his cheat Senpai could do it.

It made Itaru feel inadequate. 

Itaru’s whole life was just him being okay at everything and now here he was, face to face with someone that seemed to be good at everything. He was dating someone that seemed to be good at everything.

Of course, Itaru was a bit bitter. Life really did press the random stats generator and gave him mediocre stats. Oh well, Itaru can’t do anything about it but try to raise them.

Yet, even if Itaru did raise his skills, they still paled in comparison to Chikage’s. All the things that he was better at than Chikage were either due to experience (acting) or they didn’t really matter (playing video games). To be quite honest, it made Itaru think that Chikage was way out of his league.

Scratch that. 

Itaru knows that Chikage is way out of his league.

Yet, Chikage still chose to date him and what could Itaru offer in return? Video games? Acting? Failed attempts at being a good boyfriend?

Yikes, the rewards for this quest sucked. Why did Chikage even accept it? There should be a better companion out there for Chikage. Itaru didn’t provide any stat upgrades or even any worthwhile AFK benefits. Itaru supposed that this meant he was the basic companion, good for beginners but meant to be quickly replaced.

Itaru wondered how he could upgrade himself. This surely couldn’t be his final evolution, right? (He went to knock on wood right after) What were the requirements? He would honestly do anything at this point to keep what he currently had. 

Itaru didn’t even need to be a cheat character, banned from most tournaments or dragged by the internet for being a Gary Stu. Itaru would’ve been happy to be anyone that’s well… not a background character.

Even in his own life, Itaru felt like a background character, unimportant and unnoticed. He had been trying to convince himself otherwise, pretending that he was some main character that could switch classes or could make his own choices, however he should be honest with himself. He wasn’t making those choices by himself, he wasn’t important enough for it to matter. Someone else was making those choices for him. 

God, now that Itaru actually acknowledged it, it fucking sucked. He didn’t want to be a background character, they don’t get any development or any merch. He wanted people to whale over him, people that think he’s the best boy, people that cared for him beyond his looks.

Logically speaking, Itaru knew that he did have those people, but Itaru was afraid. Afraid that this was all a dream and that it would all get ripped away from him.

Just like high school.

The last time Itaru got too comfortable, everything crumbled in his hands. His game reset without permission. He couldn’t have that happen again, not when he has made so much progress to just drop everything.

Itaru really was a hypocrite huh? He keeps on preaching to people about restarting their games and how it was like NG+ but he couldn’t do it himself. Maybe, Tonooka was right.

Itaru just wasn’t meant to have a successful run.

#####  **Act 10 [Cheat Character] completed successfully. Would you like to move to Act 11 [Submerged]?**

Itaru would’ve liked to think that he was hiding his emotions rather well. Was he still trying to find something that wasn’t his looks to try and make his relationship last? Yeah. Was he failing at that? Yeah. Was he really hating himself over it? Yeah. But hey, at least he didn’t _seem_ like he was in great emotional turmoil. Fake it til you make it.

However, Itaru really should’ve expected Chikage to notice considering how much of a cheat that guy was. His perception skill was probably near maxed out. However, Itaru didn’t expect that Chikage would’ve called him out on it. 

“Hey…”

“Hey…”

“Hey Chiga…”

“...Saki…”

“Itar…”

“...Ru…”

“Itaru…”

Itaru slowly logged back into the server awake as he heard a special someone spam the chat.

“What?” Itaru mumbled, his eyes closing by themselves. 

_Itaru used Internal Wake Up Slap_

_It was kinda effective_

_Itaru is now slightly awake_

“Hey Chigasaki, what’s been bothering you the past few days?” A muffled voice said from in between Itaru’s arms. 

Ah. No more Itaru, huh?

Itaru blinked the sleepiness out of his eyes. “What?” he muttered, his eyes adjusting to the soft light of the moon that filtered in from the windows.

“What’s been bothering you?” Chikage repeated, his voice not having a trace of tiredness in it.

“I don’t get what you mean.” Carefully shifting so that he didn’t disturb Chikage, Itaru craned his neck and squinted at the clock on the wall. Although it was dark, Itaru managed to see the time: 2:57.

“Don’t act dumb. I’ve noticed everything.” The blanket that was carelessly covering the both of them moved, uncovering the tangle of limbs and arms underneath. 

“Senpai, can you stop being so cryptic? I was just asleep like two minutes ago. My brain cells aren’t exactly working.”

“When _do_ your brain cells work?” Itaru should’ve expected this response.

“Touché.” 

Chikage got his face out of Itaru’s chest and looked up. Itaru couldn’t help but smile softly. Chikage looked a lot less guarded and a lot more soft. This was personally Itaru’s favorite kind of Chikage.

“Now answer my question.” Ah. Even the cuteness of a glasses-less Chikage couldn’t hide the unromanticness inside.

“What was the question again?”

Chikage sighed. “I think the games melted all your brain cells, but the question was what has been bothering you the past few days.”

Oh right. That. Itaru’s smile fell from his face.

Itaru shrugged, only to have Chikage half heartedly glare at him when Itaru accidentally removed his hands from around Chikage’s waist. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying.” 

_Non-Stop Debate is going to occur now. Are you ready?_

**_> No _ ** **> No**

_Well, too bad._

“No, I’m not.”

“Chigasaki. I literally watched you mutter for a straight hour about how you wanted to be an isekai character yesterday while watching Re:Do.”

Itaru winced. He really was going through it huh?

“TBH, when do I not want to be an isekai character? I subtly tell Tsuzuru that every time he writes a script.”

“Fair enough. However, your mood has been worsening lately.”

“It has?”

“You’ve been listening to the Kniroun VII OSTs. You only listen to that when you feel bad.”

“...You paid attention to that, senpai?”

Chikage loosened his hold onto Itaru. “It was pretty noticeable when you blasted it during that week where your boss dumped a bunch of work on you.”

“Typical unromantic senpai that doesn't want to admit his feelings.”

“Typical uncute junior that lies about his feelings and acts as if I don’t notice.”

Itaru has decided that those statements cancel each other out so that neither of them have to be addressed.

“Well, I just didn’t roll my best girl despite saving up for her for months. Of course I’m sad.” Itaru wasn’t lying about this, but he still had some summons left and he hadn’t even touched his allowed spending for gacha for the month. He’s sure that he’ll reach the pity summon at worst and solo yolo at best. 

“Chigasaki, cut it out. What did I do wrong?” Chikage completely untangled himself from Itaru. His face was emotionless, but the moonlight made his blue eyes look like whirlpools, twisting and turning with different emotions.

“What?” Itaru replayed the scene over in his head. He didn’t make any wrong moves at all. At least, he thought he didn’t.

“Did you think that I didn’t notice that you were unhappy all those times? That sad glimmer in your eyes when we were at the restaurant. The quick wave of disappointment before we had sex that one time. The look of clear discontentment after you burned the chicken that clearly extended further than that. What did I do?” Chikage’s voice was still cool and calm, but Itaru heard it. That small seed of despair, buried underneath Chikage’s usual repression of emotions.

Fuck.

GG to Itaru. He fucked up.

“It’s…” Itaru didn’t know how to approach this level. His usually clever mental text boxes were gone. He had no walkthrough. Nothing was coming to his brain.

Itaru really didn’t want to fuck this up. If he did… Well. Itaru wasn’t sure he would be able to handle this bad end.

“It’s...?” 

_Choose a dialogue option:_

_ > _

_ > _

_ > _

_ > _

Fuck. His brain really was empty, huh?

For the first time in forever, Itaru had no hint of what game he was even playing. Usually, he was the one that was resetting. The one that had some sort of game plan. The one that kept on playing and playing. Now, Itaru was just another blind let’s player who was on a route where one bad move could make them lose the game forever. 

Itaru wondered if he should just pretend to fall asleep to escape the question.

_Itaru. There’s a time and place for everything, but not now._

Itaru supposed that he was right. If he didn’t address this… then… 

_“Nothing ever lasts with you, you’re so fake that everything’ll fall apart when your lies catch up with you. It always did and it always will.”_

Not answering wasn’t a lie, but Itaru knew that it was spiritually one. He knew that not answering would lead to a bad end, but he just couldn't answer it. 

_Stop being a coward, Itaru. You’re the one always pretending to be some Isekai character, yet when you need to act like it most, you can’t._

Oh no. They were coming.

_You really were meant to be a background character. You can’t do shit._

Itaru was always able to hold these thoughts at bay, but now they were washing over him, like he was in the middle of the bay, drowning.

_Do you really think that telling Chikage anything would fix your stale relationship? It’s your fault that it’s like this anyways._

Waves. Waves. Waves. Itaru could feel himself sinking.

_Everything you have is bound to end._

Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

_This is what you get for faking everything._

Itaru’s completely submerged.

_Every reset ends the same. Just accept this._

Itaru suddenly felt so cold.

_Bad end. Bad end. Bad end._

#####  **Act 11 [Submerged] completed. Would you like to move to act 12 [NG+]?**

Itaru felt warm arms around him. His thoughts were still swimming and he felt like he wasn’t actually on Earth. However, Chikage’s warm arms helped ground him a little.

“I’m here, Itaru. I’m here.” Shaky hands, worried face, hitched breathing. Chikage’s usually calm veneer was completely shattered. 

The room seemed so much darker than before, but Itaru didn’t know if that was his fault or if something happened. It was probably his fault. 

“Itaru. Are you feeling better?” Itaru felt so bad. He had never heard Chikage sound like this, even during his confession. Even when they talked about game resets. Even during their most tender moments in bed.

Itaru couldn’t say anything yet as he hugged Chikage. The man was so warm.

Tick tock. Tick tick. Tick tock. 

Itaru tried to focus on the rhythmic ticking of the clock. It always helped him whenever he got like this. He just needed to focus on one thing and not think about anything else. Like _anything_ else.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. 

Itaru could feel his heart slow down.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Itaru could feel his breathing get more steady.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Itaru wasn’t much better, but he was better.

“...Sorry.”

Chikage immediately turned to Itaru.

“Why are you sorry?”

“For all of that. It’s been awhile since it happened.” Itaru tried to sound casual but it failed the moment he opened his mouth.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like I have to apologize.”

This was the first time that Itaru had a panic attack in front of someone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he had to do or not to do, so the sorry is for good measure.

“I’m not heartless.” Hurt twinged Chikage’s voice.

“I know. I’m just…” 

“Just…?”

“Overwhelmed.”

“Why are you overwhelmed?”

That was a good question. Why was Itaru so overwhelmed?

“I think it’s because I keep on pushing things away if I feel uncomfortable with them. That includes my feelings. Yeah.”

_Achievement unlocked: Graceful explanation_

Ah, Itaru’s gamer brain was back on. Things were getting better.

“I can sympathize with that.” Chikage paused before cautiously adding “If you’d like to talk about it, I’ll be willing to listen.”

Itaru laughed, empty and nervous. “It’s something really stupid. Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine.” A pause. Some shifting. “I don’t want you to go through that again if I can do something about it.”

_Choose your action:_

**_> Tell Chikage_ **

**> Don’t tell Chikage**

Itaru may not have a walkthrough, but he knew what the right answer was.

It’s time for Itaru to actually step up and be the main character of his life.

Itaru was tired of running away from everything. He was tired of pretending. He was tired of being fake. Year after year after year. Itaru had always put up a facade. Even in Mankai, the place where he belongs the most, he still had on some of his shields. Even with Chikage, he was still faking some parts. Even with himself, he had managed to fake it until he actually believed it. 

Itaru knew that he couldn’t cut out all of the fakeness in his life, it was a big part of him after all. However, he could cut out the fakeness about this.

“Before I tell you anything, tell me this. Are you happy in our relationship?”

A slight intake of breath. The shifting of the sheets. The ticking of the clock. Every noise that wasn’t an answer was torturous.

“...Yes. I am.” 

_Itaru’s health has replenished by 50._

“You are?”

“...I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time.”

_Itaru will remember this_

“But… I don’t offer any stat buffs. I don’t have any AFK bonuses. I don’t have anything to offer.” 

“What are you talking about? You offered me a chance at restarting, at having an actual relationship. You offered me a chance to be happy without all the guilt. That’s more than I deserve enough in my lifetime.” Warm hands reached for Itaru’s cold ones.

“What? I did?” Itaru didn’t remember saying anything. Did he sleep talk his way through that level or something?

“That whole discussion we had about resetting games? That was very important to me.” 

Itaru blinked. His game metaphors worked? He thought he was going to get a neutral end if he went that route.

“Well, I’m glad that helped you so much.”

“I think it can help you too.”

“What?”

“All of this happened because of something that still haunts you from your past, didn’t it?”

Senpai. Always so blunt.

“Yeah.”

“Then restart. You’ll find that life’s easier if you choose to not think of your past as the past but as something different all together.”

“How does that help me then?”

“Didn’t you just tell me that you didn’t offer stat buffs or AFG bonuses or something?”

“It’s AFK.”

“Yeah, that.”

“What about it?”

“You should follow your own advice and reset your own game. I feel like you would get what you want from it.”

Itaru frowned. “How?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a type of game where every time you restart, you get some type of bonuses that make your game easier.”

Itaru racked his brain for longer than he would like to admit before it dawned on him. “Like clicker games?”

“Yes those. If you apply that concept, I think you would find that you _do_ offer stat buffs and AFK bonuses.”

“But those kinds of games require you to completely start over. Last time I checked, I didn't have a time machine.” 

“You don’t need to completely start over, a lot of those games let you start at a much later stage depending on how far into a game you are.”

“I don’t know. Using that logic, I’d probably be blasted back to middle school and no thanks.”

“Why don’t you combine the added benefits from clicker games with the reset that you spoke about me with, the new game plus. Create your own game.”

What a crossover. Itaru had never thought of combining games for his resets. It’s probably because Itaru only associates resetting with one thing…

“...Failure. I don’t like to reset my own game unless I completely and utterly failed.” Itaru admitted, the truth that he tried so hard to run away burning him the more he continued.

“Do you really need to fail in order to start over?”

“No, but I don’t want to start life over. It’s hard enough as it is without me starting over. I’d rather just fuck up a bunch and still have the experience I do now than to start over and be perfect.”

“You’ve always wanted to be an isekai character, right? Those cheat ones that you accused me of being.” Itaru blinked at the sudden shift in Chikage’s tone.

“Yeah.”

“Well, here’s your chance. Start over, but still keep your stats. That’s what you would consider a cheat character right?”

“Well…” Itaru paused before sighing “Yeah. I guess it is.” 

“Then, here’s your chance. Take it.”

Sheets shifting, mind racing, fingers reaching for something that’s so close. 

Itaru really did want to. Yet before he reached it, he stopped.

“Even if I did start over, what good will it do? There are more better, more cheat characters out there.”

“That’s just life, isn’t it? Some characters are better in the… meta, I think it was called, than others. It still doesn’t mean that you can’t be that cheat character that you want so much.”

“If there are better characters in the meta out there and someone can get those characters, I might as well be expandable for the rest of my life.”

“That’s not necessarily true. I’ve met characters that are ‘more in the meta’ than you. More handsome, more intelligent, more affluent. I could’ve gotten any of them at any time.”

_Critical Hit_

Itaru can’t wait for Chikage to replace him. Itaru felt his stomach plummet and he could feel the thoughts threatening to come back. It’s a good thing he just had that explosion so he could push this away.

“Thanks, senpai. That makes me feel so much better.” Itaru tried to sound sarcastic, but it ended up pathetically sad. 

“Don't you get it, Chigasaki? Despite the fact that I could’ve replaced you with a way better person, I didn’t. I chose you and I’ll stick with you for as long I can.”

_Itaru will remember this_

Oh. _Oh._ Okay, Itaru didn’t want to push this away.

“But why?”

Chikage squeezed Itaru’s hands. “Despite how dirty, lazy, and nosy-”

“Gee thanks.” Chikage glared softly at Itaru.

“-you are, you accepted me and made me feel better when I really needed it. That’s all people really need sometimes. They don’t need someone rich or smart or hot, although those all help of course, they just need someone that cares for them.”

“So… it’s kinda like keeping your best boy or girl on your team because you love them so much and you can’t get yourself to replace them.”

Chikage paused. “...Yes. I suppose that’s a way to put it.”

**[Choose a dialogue option]**

**> **“Let’s make out.”

 **> **“Where the fuck did all of this gamer lingo come from?”

 **_> _ ** _“Does that mean I’m your best boy?”_

Chikage faintly smiled, unguarded and soft. “You always have been.”

**_Itaru will definitely remember this._ **

Although it didn’t sound like much, it was the most romantic thing that Itaru had ever heard in his life.

“Wow. Nice to see that you’re aren’t being tsun about it.”

“Why would I be? I…” Chikage hesitated. “I… have very strong affection towards you.”

As robotic and unromantic as the statement was, Itaru realized that this was probably the first time Chikage explicitly said that he really liked Itaru.

_Fuck._

Itaru was so glad that it was still dark because the warmth on his face probably translated to his face being more red than Sakuya’s hair.

“When have you been so romantic?” 

“I’ve always been romantic, you’ve just never noticed.”

“Yeah, sure, and I’ve always been cute.”

“You have though. My cute junior.”

_Achievement unlocked: Threepeat_

Itaru swears that this was too good to be true and that this was like some sort of mirage that’ll slowly reveal itself to be a bad end.

However, Chikage grabbed Itaru’s arms and wrapped it around him. Chikage was so warm, so warm that he had to be real.

Itaru couldn’t help but smile. Smile as warmly as Chikage felt. 

“Chigasaki, what type of sad excuse of a hug is this?”

Ah. There’s the real Chikage.

“I don’t know, senpai. You just grabbed my arm and positioned it. It’s not my fault that you don’t like your own placement work.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be placement work. This was supposed to be me hinting at you to hug me.”

“Terrible hints TBH. Not very clear and just made it seem like you were trying to position me.”

Despite what Itaru said, Itaru did indeed adjust himself so that Chikage would be as comfortable as possible. Chikage made an appreciative noise as he cuddled in closer to Itaru.

“See, now was that so hard?”

“Very.”

“Never mind, I take it back. You’re always uncute.”

“And you’re always unromantic. We all know.”

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. There’s only one thing consistent with their relationship and it was this. 

In a world of unknowns, at least this was a known.

Oh yeah. Speaking of unknowns...

“Senpai, how’d you know all of these game terms?” 

Chikage was silent, choosing only to hug Itaru tighter. That was a good enough answer.

“Thank you, Chikage-san. For everything.”

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Eyes heavy, limbs entangled with limbs, the warmth of each other. 

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Slight shifting of sheets, the slowing peaceful breaths of Chikage, the rustling of leaves outside.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Itaru drifted off, his boyfriend in his arms, and hope in his heart.

**> [Menu]**

**_[Restart Game?]_ **

**_> Yes _ ** ** >No**

**_[Are you sure?]_ **

**_> Yes _ ** **> No**

**Game start.**

It had always been Itaru’s dream to be an Isekai protagonist. 

Even when Itaru was younger, when Isekai wasn’t even an established genre yet, he’d voraciously lap up anything, from books to games to anime, that had someone starting over their life in a new world.

He wanted to start over his life.

Friendless, awkward, shy, young Itaru would’ve been unrecognizable compared to his current self. 

However, that wasn’t a bad thing at all.

Now, Itaru had a good number of friends, a charming personality, and a boyfriend. Was it magic that made this happen? Itaru wished.

No. It was a lot of trial and error. A lot of resets. A lot of loneliness. However, Itaru would gladly go through it again if it meant that he could be guaranteed a life like the one he was living.

Itaru Chigasaki wasn’t the smartest or the richest or the most talented. He wasn’t the most attractive or the cleanest or the nicest. 

That’s fine. Itaru didn’t need to be any of those. Sometimes, it was fine to be just… well… fine. 

Besides, all of that really shouldn’t matter. There were people in the world that liked him for who he is, all of who he is. They liked him for his suave businessman side, for his charming actor side, for his otaku side. 

Even if there weren’t people, there was at least one person who would, and that was all Itaru needed.

However, Itaru was pretty sure he had at _least_ 26 people that supported him, so that was already a lot more than he expected. He still didn’t feel like he deserved all of it, but it’s fine. They were the ones who chose to do so. He can’t do anything about it.

All Itaru could do was continue playing his game, navigating it to the best of its abilities no matter how much it sucked or how hard it was. Itaru couldn’t disappoint all of his supporters.

After all, what type of main character would he be if he did?

Itaru was finally the main character of his own life. No more shadows selves constantly hanging behind him, whispering their dark words. No more searing loneliness, burning him until he found sweet relief in fake actions. No more being a ground character, trampled over like a piece of dirty cardboard.

Itaru Chigasaki was reborn into another world. A world that actually liked him.

Itaru would never go back.

_Achievement unlocked: Congrats._

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/gachakitakoreJK?s=21) If you’d like... I love Chikaita sm and I’m so glad the event was successful! Also, please read Lucy's amazing [fic](archiveofourown.org/works/27200464) that was based off of mine.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [what remains in the ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200464) by [wingsaloof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsaloof/pseuds/wingsaloof)




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